Two weeks later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a relief to no one way or another. I was given my treatment plan, now comes the long treatment to defeat cancer.
My biggest fear was the operation, whether I would come out of it alive. Once that was over I had no problem accepting the loss of my breast: I was alive!!
I had a lot of support from family and friends who came to visit me after the operation. My mother-in-law had come to stay with me. She took over duties of the home and becoming the mother to my children in my hour of need. The only thing left for me to do was enjoy the attention I was getting.
What helped me was to talk about the cancer to everyone and anyone who knew me, and the response was I was not the only one with this illness and that there was life after it. I think the word cancer is what we are scared off. I used word very freely and openly that once cancer was treated it was only a word like any other.
After the operation I had to have six doses of chemotherapy. With the knowledge of what to expect I looked for complementary treatment to help me get through it. I had acupuncture and herbal treatment. Complementary is exactly the right word because after each chemotherapy treatment I was very ill. I remember saying to my husband I would rather die than go through this treatment but after acupuncture treatment I was fifty percent better.
So what did I do in the four and half months of chemotherapy?
I did a lot of praying, meditation and if I had any energy I did yoga. But I also believed God was on my side. Through that winter I was sat almost everyday in our conservatory having the winter sun blazing down on me, which got me through the days. I also had a reason to get up in the morning: my 3 children, who throughout this whole treatment have shown great understanding and courage. They had to take over the role of being my carers.
After my chemotherapy had finished, I had to start radiotherapy. I found that radiotherapy was not painful at all, but after the treatment had finished I felt exhausted, lethargic and depressed. It was the first time through all this I have had these emotions which was frightening, but I was very happy I was alive and had a lot a living to do
What about the medical profession
First I would like to thank my GP who has supported me through all this in a big way with her kind words she told me sometimes bad things happen to us but there is only one person you put your hand on: God. She gave a candle and asked me to pray and that she would pray for me too. Like she told me my God did not let me down. The surgeon who did my operation did a wonderful job with minimal scaring. The breast care nurses who I only saw a few times are doing a great job. The chemotherapy nurses have been great. Their care and understanding was full on.
So today I am speaking of my experience of breast cancer. I may not have said much about my feelings about what has happened to me, all I know is I have a had a very positive attitude to this experience. I may have had a horrible illness but hands on heart I believe faith was my biggest healer.
I have to start a new life and put the old one away.
